


Never believed in fate before

by sherllycolmpels



Series: Letters to John [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Episode: s01e01 A Study in Pink, Falling In Love, Fate, Fate & Destiny, Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Letter, Letters, Love Letters, Love at First Sight, M/M, POV Sherlock Holmes, Post-Episode: s01e01 A Study in Pink, Romance, sherlock is afraid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 19:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10419480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherllycolmpels/pseuds/sherllycolmpels
Summary: Meeting John Watson made Sherlock feel like never before. Right after they turned to now their flat in the end of A Study In Pink, their first case together, Sherlock sits down and writes a letter to John, a letter he's too afraid to share with John just yet.





	

Dear John,

It’s strange for me, it really is. I’ve known you for a day now, yet it seems you already occupy an unrepeatable part of my life. I’ve never met someone who made me feel this way, John. I find it both fascinating and terrifying. It perplexes me. You perplex me, which is new as well. You are fascinating, and I find it hard to stay away from you. Did you hit on me back there in Angelo’s? It terrified me John, I’m not yet ready to open fully for you, because when I will, you’ll run away. They always run away, and you are special. I can’t let you run away so quickly, John.  

You saved my life today John Watson. You shot a man for me, solely because you thought I was in danger, although you practically don’t know me at all. Nobody had ever cared for me like that, John. I can’t get you out of my head since then. It might seem obsessive, so forgive me, but I’ve started a whole new mind palace based on this case, just because you were a part of it. I couldn’t stop myself. I can’t stop hoping I’d add rooms in there based on our future time together.

I hope I didn’t ruin everything, back there in Angelo’s. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I ruined my chance with you. It doesn’t seem this way, because you saved my life. You saved my life and agreed to come on a date with me, a dinner in this Chinese restaurant. You can’t imagine how happy it made me, John, spending this time with you. I thought about kissing you in the end, but I stopped myself. I’m not good with feelings, John, I’ve never been, and I need us to take things slow. Because this is special, you are special.

Dating. Never thought I’d be dating someone, especially not someone as extraordinary as you. I don’t deserve you, John Watson, and I want to be selfish – I don’t want you to ever realize how much I don’t deserve you.

It feels a little bit like fate, if there is such a thing. Never believed in fate before you came, now I want to believe in such a concept, because Mike got it all wrong – I never looked for a flat mate, because I couldn’t believe someone would want me as one. I’m a hard man to live with, and I moved to 221b Baker street knowing I can afford this flat on my own. But then I saw you, and I knew I wanted you in my life, if you’d have me. So, I didn’t correct him, I’d been selfish and I’d continue to be selfish if it means you’re still here with me. Please let me.

-Sherlock


End file.
